Xmas Thoughts For All

[Gad]

From me and mine to you and yours`, wishing each a happy and safe Xmas.

If travelling on the roads over the holiday period please take care for yourself, family and friends travelling with you.  A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and the DMV indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol/drug related.

This means that the remaining 77% are caused by assholes who drink bottled water, soft drinks, juice, energy drinks and sh!t like that.

Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol, they cause three times as many accidents.

[Drop Bear]

Just now, Gad said:

Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol, they cause three times as many accidents.

bahhahah you funny bugger. Merry Christmas

[Gad]

Aussie Jingle Bells

Dashing through the bush,in a rusty Holden Ute,
Kicking up the dust, esky in the boot,
Kelpie by my side,singing Christmas songs,
It's Summer time and I am in my singlet, shorts and thongs

Oh! Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way,
Christmas in Australia on a scorching summers day, Hey!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, Christmas time is beaut !,
Oh what fun it is to ride in a rusty Holden Ute.

Engine's getting hot; we dodge the kangaroos,
The swaggie climbs aboard,he is welcome too.
All the family's there,sitting by the pool,
Christmas Day the Aussie way,by the barbecue.

Oh! Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way,
Christmas in Australia on a scorching summers day, Hey!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, Christmas time is beaut!,
Oh what fun it is to ride in a rusty Holden Ute.

Come the afternoon, Grandpa has a doze,
The kids and Uncle Bruce, are swimming in their clothes.
The time comes 'round to go, we take the family snap,
Pack the car and all shoot through, before the washing up.

Oh! Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way,
Christmas in Australia on a scorching summers day, Hey!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, Christmas time is beaut!,
Oh what fun it is to ride in a rusty Holden Ute.

[Gad]

Christmas eve came and Rudolph was proud to be leading Santa's Sleigh, he was also very proud of his twin brother Randolph, who was just behind him on the harness, as they took to the skies to deliver presents to all of the good little children all over the world.

Millions of stops on the way as they flew from house to house delivering presents, Randolph was fantastic in the air but there was a slight problem with his landing skills, where all of the other reindeer took one step on landing Randolph was a little clumsy on his feet and had to take two steps on landing.

Unfortunately, Rudolph was exactly two steps ahead of Randolph on the reins and every time Randolph landed he hit Rudolph directly in the rear end, after millions of landings all through the night Randolphs nose got browner and browner (ahem) and Rudolphs rear end became redder and redder, the wind changed as they flew and Randolphs nose was transformed forever from black to brown just as Rudolphs` front and rear lights from that night on......

For those of you who know the song you won't find mention of this because it was thought to be too rude for children and Christmas.

This must be a true story, I heard it from a drunk bloke in a bar.