Funnies

[keen_as]

Two hillbillies are having lunch when a woman seated nearby begins to choke. Hillbilly asks her,"kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no. Hillbilly asks her "kin ya breathe?" Woman shakes her head no. Hillbilly walks over,lifts up her dress, yanks down her britches and licks her butt cheek. The woman has a violent spasm and spits out food. The hillbillies' buddy says "ya know,I heerd of that there hind lick maneuver but I aint niver seed nobody do it".....

I recently visited a mental asylum and I asked the director, "how can you know when a person needs to be institutionalized?" He said, "Well, we fill a bathtub with water and we offer them a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket and ask them to empty the tub." I said, "I see...a normal person would choose the bucket because it is bigger." He responded, "No. A normal person would pull the plug...would you like a bed by the window?"

Of course I took the room with a view.