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your thorts


madmullet

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a customer just sent me this, whats your thorts

Dear Prime Minister,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing the Australian economy.

Instead of giving billions of dollars to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 5 million people over 50 in the work force.

Pay them $ 2 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire.

Five million job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new Australian car.

Five million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -

Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -

Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy Â$100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .

And there's your money back in duty/tax etc

It can't get any easier than that!

Also:

Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell..

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.

Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay Â$400.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

Think about this (more points of contention):

COWS:

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Goondiwindi almost three years ago, right to the paddock where she slept in the feedlot at Bony Mountain?

And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country.

Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

Also:

Think about this .... If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy old folk of Australia to speak up!

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I'm only an accountant, and not an economist so feel free to shoot me down, but:

Pay $2M to 5 million people? My thoughts on the matter are that the maths are a bit off...

$2,000,000 x 5,000,000 = 10,000,000,000,000. (Perhaps whoever wrote this article is an old timer, who thinks that is still 10 billion. - Which it used to be in old British English, but gone are those days - many a year ago anyway - and it is now the American English value of 10 Trillion)

Not sure where we could get 10 trillion dollars in one hit, especially considering its about 8 times our annual national GDP.

Realistically even if we did have that much cash to throw around, there are far better things such large sums of money could be thrown at to improve our country. The above is more of a short-term, narrow scoped fix and wouldn't provide a great deal in the long run.

Unemployment? At high 4%, low 5% for unemployment, we don't exactly have a unemployment crises on our hands. Sorry to say, but you need some level of unemployment to keep the economy in check. Having too low an unemployment puts significant pressure on wages, which then also has a flow on effect throughout the economy.

Purchasing tobacco or alcohol is absurd as well. Why force two extremely unhealthy products onto people? Rather see them have to spend $100 on a health/fitness product/service to try and reduce obesity and related health problems.

Buying a house or paying off the mortgage isn't going to fix the housing crises. Instead, using that money (which we don't have anyway) to build new houses would fix it.

Cows and Illegal Immigrants: We could track them pretty easy I'm sure. Shall we start tagging everyone? Might have some issues forcing people to get tags though

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