They know nothing about fishing

[kreel]

You get the right gear. You have a high modulus rod carefully selected to go with a reel that has more ball bearings than the average family car and is so light that it almost drifts out of your hand when you cast with it. You learn Japanese just so you can understand the individual proclivities of the various types, styles and brands of braid - selecting only the finest PE braid specific to your reel, rod, target species, zodiac sign and fishing region.

You "invest" in the latest model kayak to get the most up-to-date stealthy yak. ON the subject of stealth, your yak is so sneaky the US armed forces deny the existence of your yak because it is stealthier than anything they currently have. You furnish the yak with more electronics than NASA used to get to Mars, your sounder is so sensitive that it can identify the religion of anything below the water surface. Your chart plotter can locate your fishing spot to the millionth of a micron.

You have studied maps and kitted up for the day's fishing trip with more energy than most climbers use to summit Everest. You've developed a knowledge of weather to such a point that you smell storms so early that you can advise ants that they may want to move to higher ground. Long range weather forecasters have YOU on speed dial, just to make sure.

You have mastered the skill of casting to such a point that when a Kung-Fu master asks you to remove a pebble from their hand you can do it from the other side of the river while casting through the port-hole of a passing speed-boat. You have an arsenal of hard bodied lures the cost of which would bankrupt 10 small nations in South America. You have a savant-type knowledge of fish habitats, feeding patterns and lingerie sizes.

YOU ARE READY, YOU HAVE THE GEAR, THE RIGHT TIME, THE WEATHER AND THE RIGHT ATTITUDE.

So how the hell do you come home with NO FISH.

Which brings me to the topic of the thread:

After long and careful deliberation I have come to the conclusion that I am not only coming half way to the party I am also bringing the kegs, the food and the strippers. SO why won't the fish come the few metres to meet their side of the deal … Fish know NOTHING about fishing!

You may well think that today I went fishing and came home with an empty bag … NOT SO. I have in fact come home with a glorious fish but I also managed to out-fish TackleBox. HOW you may ask? I deployed my secret bit of fishing tackle …

Rocket (Rod) Vardy caught the fish and let me take it because he doesn't eat fish.

But the real point is that I came home with the BIGGEST BADDEST FISH AND TACKLEBOX GOT NOTHING!

Pornographic evidence to follow.

[pancakes_and_haggis]

hahaha an entertaining read as always

[Rocket75]

Don't be so hard on yourself mate, I saw you catch some fish...true, small whiting were bullying them so much they tried committing seppuku on your trebles, but you caught them none the less

I caught a few small ones too, but luckily for me (and your lonely chips and lemon wedge) I also managed that one. He came in a respectable 58cm and took on a little Atomic HB flicked at the mangrove edges.

Thanks for the company guys

[ryanyoung]

ROFL!!!! Come and fish with me Badon. I promise I'll respect my elders

[tugger]

Thats where you have gone wrong Baden i on the other hand have a big old noisy tinnie that rattles and bangs like a dunnie door on a public toilet, i have a old 2 stroke motor thats loud enough that your ears are ringing at the end of the day and it belches oil and smoke in the water that you can see the slick from space.

I don't use electronics at all only wet the finger and hold up in the air to get my postion and drift right, my fishing gear is the cheapest you find in the fishing section at kmart. One of my old rods was handed down to me from my father and he got it from his father before him.

I use stinky old bait and try to catch it myself so to avoid any cost what so ever and the monfilment line i use i have to find in antique stores as everybody has been sucked into the biggest con in the fishing world that its braid or nothing.

So its down to the fish whispering that i do that you have forgoten since you have fished with me last Baden and thats your not using enough four letter words on them dam fish

[Stevodevo]

we use the most up to date things but we forget the old ways maybe when using plastics we should still burley or some attractant to bring in fish Tugger probably does look at me today I went fishing with my father he used baits and plastics you can guess who won he did 5 to 0

[kreel]

Oh wise and knowledgeable sensei Mark, I require re-education. Please take me to the sacred Rock of Tugger and teach me the ways of the burr-lee, the mon no, the Pennspin-fisher. Let me immerse my hands in the pilly bucket, let me relish in the old ways. Let me learn to speak the 4letter language with the fish (maybe not that one after my appalling showing at Winter Camp ... Sorry Ray, sorry everyone).

Let me catch, kill and eat yummy fish again.

Oh, and Mr Ryanyoung (if that's your real name) I'm ready for a respectful fish anytime you're ready.

[Stevodevo]

Maybe we should sometimes when use plastics and hard bodied lures we should use them with bait and burly when drifting or fishing to help bring the fish to us instead of us to them,just thinking , because the only fish I eat lately is bought and I suppose bait and plastics are like womans breasts uno all men love breasts no matter what and the fake ones look good but in the end we all would prefer the feel of large naturals to fake and some times fish might be attracted to bait then to plastics

just a thought

knew a guy who used both always came home with a feed

[viper83]

Don't be so hard on yourself mate, I saw you catch some fish...true, small whiting were bullying them so much they tried committing seppuku on your trebles, but you caught them none the less

I caught a few small ones too, but luckily for me (and your lonely chips and lemon wedge) I also managed that one. He came in a respectable 58cm and took on a little Atomic HB flicked at the mangrove edges.

Thanks for the company guys

Hey mate, did you rock up at the boat ramp at around 7 : 30 -8am??

[51MPL]

Looks like it's my turn to nominate you for ROTM Baden

[ellicat]

Often the simple and obvious things are the cause of problems. Just like when Mal couldn't start his boat all day, only to find he had it in gear :pinch:

Baden, the simple obvious thing in what you have described is that you aren't looking at charts. Maps are for land

[kreel]

Mr Viper, tBox and I (yellow and sand coloured Revos) arrived at 8:15am, Rocket (blue revo) was already on the water so he must have been there around 7:45am.

There is wisdom all around me - "charts" not maps, thank you Grand Master eCat. Not to forget sensei Devon' s suggestion of burlying women's ladyware. The fact remains ...

FISH KNOW NOTHING ABOUT FISHING!

We need a comprehensive re-education program for fish, starting when they are just starting to school. Then by the time they decide to specialise - pelagic or demersal, they know how to handle a complicated fishing exam AND GET ON MY HOOKS, FOLLOWED SOON AFTER WHEN THEY GET IN MY BELLY!

[bootyinblue]

+1 for the Tugger school (get it fish, school, school of fish.... oh never mind) of fishing!

I think we have outsmarted ourselves in all this high tech stuff, and the only winner in it all is the lawyers (yet again) who argue over copyright infringments on lure shapes.

[davopac]

very entertaining report kreel and great replies

i use both ways of fishing yesterday canoe during the day ,boat at night.for a small toad fish .

[tiotony]

I had the same problem today. Woke up super early, 100% confident and all full of myself that I was going to go down the road to the river with Bennno and take a barra for breakfast. Did not get a single hookup. So then this afternoon we decided to go 'old school' and drift some live prawns around the snags, left the artificials at home. Again not a single hookup, just one jack half the size of the live prawn that came up and killed the prawn just out of spite I think. I think the fish are on strike; I mean how can you drift a massive live prawn that belongs in a shrimp cocktail into the nastiest looking snag and NOT get a strike :S

[tiotony]

And forgot to mention just how 'old school' we were; wasn't indulging myself, but my two mates were drinking beer straight from tallie bottles and their 'esky' for the beer was a plastic shopping bag with ice in it. All conversation about how the fishing was going with local passers-by was in that ridiculous creole patois that after nearly 20 years in FNQ I fall into myself when excited (or drunk). Eg: "them barras biting ay?", "nah so slack ay, reckon that wind make them barra lazy"

[BrisbaneJamie]

Nice Lizzard. Seeing someone truely happy as a result of fishing is cool

[Rocket75]

Don't be so hard on yourself mate, I saw you catch some fish...true, small whiting were bullying them so much they tried committing seppuku on your trebles, but you caught them none the less

I caught a few small ones too, but luckily for me (and your lonely chips and lemon wedge) I also managed that one. He came in a respectable 58cm and took on a little Atomic HB flicked at the mangrove edges.

Thanks for the company guys

Hey mate, did you rock up at the boat ramp at around 7 : 30 -8am??

yep that was me, blue hobie.

[Damien2Rad]

No one bothered to tell the fish how great I am fishing.

[kreel]

No one bothered to tell the fish how great I am fishing.

My point exactly Mr 2Rad.