rayke1938

Cool day. Cheers Ray

Anothe4r one in memory of chubstar, A funeral procession pulled into a cemetery. Several carloads of family members followed a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it. A passer-by remarked, "That guy must have been a very avid fisherman.†"Oh, he still is," remarked one of the mourners. As a matter of fact, he's headed off to the lake as soon as we bury his wife.â€

Cheers Ray

We then have to attach the lid using the shock cord and another clip made from the copper wire. Cut the shock cord slightly longer than the height of the pot and tie a double knot in one end and thread it through the frisby then the clip and back through the frisby and tie another knot. Then melt a hole in the other end of the pot placing the hole at 90 degrees to the weights and take another length of shock cord and knotit and thread it up through the pot and through the hole on the lid. Pull this cord as tight as possible and tie a knot in it and trim it off. Completed pot. I burn my name ( Pity I cannot spell it) into the pot with the soldering iron .I also burn my name into the float ( Helps preventing people thinking that they are their pots.) I have lost a couple of photos where I initially attach the mesh to the frisbee so I will take some more tomorrow night and update. I did make some pots out of galvanised gutterguard and they were a lot easier to make but they are starting to rust out after only 2 months in NPD, If you can find some 250 mil begonia saucers they are a lot easier to make up and use less gutterguard and catch just as well as the larger frisbee pots. Happy shrimping. Cheers Ray

After several different types I think that I have finally got it right. What do you need. Cable ties - Bunnings or cheaper still on ebay. Plastic gutter guard 180mm wide Bunnings whites super gutter guard 180mm X 8 m about $7 or cheaper at Masters. Ideally 25mm begonia pot saucers from K mart $1 each but they havent had any for months.so I use Frisbees from K mart $1 each. Bundle of tent pole shock cord $3 from K mart around 12 gauge gi soft drawn fencing wire. I scrounged some from a farmer mate. Empty 2l soft drink bottled. I use soft copper wire for the hooks and attaching the tie rope. You should be able to scrounge some from a sparky or auto electrician First step is to cut the gutterguard to length. Just mark the edge of the frisbee with a felt pen and place a mark on a length of wood and roll the frisbee Add an inch to allow for an overlap join. Similarly cut the fencing wire to length. The fencing wire has to be formed into a circle and the neck of a 9kg gas bottle is ideal for the frisbee size and if you are fortunate to find some 25mm begonia saucers an upturned flower pot is good. Then cut a hole in the frisbee slightly smaller in diameter than the soft drink bottle. Next step is to cut the neck off the soft drink bottle ( I find scissors best leave the screw top on the bottle and it is easier to make the initial plunge into the bottle} Then using a small tipped soldering iron melt 4 holes around the hole in the frisbee and corresponding holes in the drink neck and cable tie the neck to the frisbee,( Do this in well ventilated area because of the burning plastic fumes.) You could drill the holes but it is much faster with the soldering iron. You will note that I have also made holes around the circumference of the frisbee.You only make the holes on one of the frisbees. Next step is to join 2 lengths of the gutterguard side by side. Just tie them together loosely untill the whole lengthy is complete and then flip them out and then tighten up the cable ties. The co joined gutterguard is then cabletied to the frisbee and the top is pulled in so that the diameter is slightly smalletr then the outher end that is secured to the frisbee and one of bthe fencing wire circles is cable tied to the top nAnd then the second wire circle is tied in to the centre of the pot I then insert a short rod into the top of the trap to attact the clop that I tie the rope to. Clip is made from the copper wire mentioned earlier. I then place some weight opposite the rope attach point. ( Anything heavy to take the pot to the bottom quickly.( I use old galvanised bolts ) Next step is to burn 3 holes in the other frisby that is going to be the other end of the pot.

A very brave man Cheers Ray

Ir you are talking about the ponds on the left of valley way just before the shopping village they are no fishing courtesy of the progressive redlands council. Cheers Ray

During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says:-"Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. Now let me see the bit that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble." The lady starts taking off her underwear but is interrupted by the doctor. "No! No! Don't remove your clothes... Just stick out your tongue!" Cheers Ray

Caboolture river stocking group have no funds since cansackum stopped their funding from the RFEP. Stanley is stocked by Somerset/Wivenhoe stocking group. Contact site member Binder if you wish to join Caboolture group. Cheers Ray

Send an email to the premier and ask him why the river is no longer being stocked. Cheers Ray

Minnesota bank robbed! On Friday, A hooded robber burst into a Minnesota bank and, at gunpoint, forced the tellers to load their cash into a plain brown bag. As the robber approached the door, one brave customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off, revealing the robber's face. Without a moment's hesitation, the robber shot the customer. He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot & killed her also. Everyone in the bank, by now horrified, stared down at the floor in silence. The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?" There was a long moment of dead silence in which everyone was terrified to speak. Then, one old Australian named Bernie cautiously raised his hand and said, "My wife got a pretty good look at you." Cheers Ray

Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live. Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, so they make love. About 6 hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, "Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?" Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again. Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left. He touches his wife's shoulder and asks, "Honey, please... just one more time before I die." She says, "Of course, Dear," and they make love for the third time. After this session, the wife rolls over and falls to sleep. Morris, however, worried about his impending end, tosses and turns, until he's down to 4 more hours. He taps his wife, who rouses. "Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could..." At this point the wife sits up and says, "Listen Morris, I have to get up in the morning... you don't." Cheers Ray

This morning on the motorway, I looked over to my right and there was a Woman In a brand new VW Golf Doing 75Mph!! With her face up next to her Rear view mirror Putting on her eyeliner! I looked away For a couple seconds And when I looked back she was Halfway over in my lane, Still working on that makeup. As a man, I don't scare easily.. But she scared me so much I dropped My electric shaver, Which knocked The meat pie Out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying To straighten out the car Using my knees against The steering wheel, It knocked My Mobile phone Away from my ear Which fell Into the coffee Between my legs, Which splashed, And burned "Big Jim and the Twins", Ruined the phone, Soaked my trousers, And disconnected an Important call. BLOODY Women Drivers!! Cheers Ray

Another Oscar joke.

Bump this thread is still pertinent. Suggest it be read in conjunction with thread http://www.australianfishing.com.au/forum/general-chat/436604-what-is-fair/reply/462444 Cheers Ray

Make certain you have correct safety gear. it is a favorite spot for water police Cheers Ray

Five surgeons are discussing who were the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says, 'I like to see Accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.' The second responds, 'Yeah, but you should try Electricians! Everything inside them is colour-coded.' The third surgeon says, 'No, I really think Librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.' The fourth surgeon chimes in, 'You know I like Construction Workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.' But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, 'You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine, and only two moving parts - the mouth and the arse - and they're interchangeable'

You will have to go to NSW to try these as it is not legal to keep carp in qld. />http://www.lachlan.cma.nsw.gov.au/downloads/Publications/Carp_recipe_booklet.pdf Cheers Ray

Lance Aussie 123 />http://www.reeltackle.com.au/index.php?option=com_ixxocart&Itemid=115&p=product&id=14063&parent=296&vendorid=2 Good quality that will last the distance Cheers Ray

Installed new bearings and dura hubs on one side and normal seals on other side of my dam boat trailer 4 years ago, Would have done 45k and never been touched.Jacked up trailer last week and no leaks,no noise no wheel wobble so left alone. Hubs get submerged at least 6 times a week. Cheers Ray

How It Really Happened In the White House:.. Some years ago President Clinton was hosting a state dinner when, at the last minute, his regular cook fell ill, and they had to get a replacement on short notice. The fellow arrived and turned out to be a very grubby-looking man named Jon. The President voiced his concerns to his Chief of Staff but was told that this was the best they could do on such short notice. Just before the meal, the President noticed the cook sticking his finger in the soup to taste it and again complained to the Chief Of Staff, but he was told that this man was supposed to be a very good chef. The meal went okay, but the President was sure that the soup tasted a bit funny. By the time dessert came, he was starting to have stomach cramps and nausea. It was getting worse and worse until finally the President had to excuse himself from the dinner to look for the bathroom. Passing through the kitchen, he caught sight of the cook, Jon, scratching his bum, which made him feel even worse. By now, the President was desperately ill with violent cramps and was so disorientated that he couldn't remember which door led to the bathroom. He tried every door in the hallway and was on the verge of passing out from the pain when he finally found a door that opened. As he unzipped his trousers and ran in, he realized to his horror that he had stumbled into Monica Lewinsky's office with his trousers around his knees. The President fell to the floor in pain and as he was just about to pass out, Monica bent over him to listen for a heartbeat and heard the President whisper in a barely audible voice, "Sack my cook." A, true story, that is how the whole misunderstanding occurred.

A beautiful woman went to the gynaecologist... The doctor took one look at the woman and all his professionalism flew out the window. He immediately told her to get undressed. After she disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. While doing so he asked her, "Do you know what I am doing?" "Yes," she replied, "you are checking for abrasions or dermatological abnormalities." "That s right," said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I am doing now?" he asked. "Yes," she said, "you are checking for lumps which might indicate breast cancer." "Correct," replied the shady doctor. Finally, he started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, "Do you know what I am doing now?" "Yes," she said, "you're getting syphilis; which is why I came here in the first place." My husband & I were both suffering from depression so we both decided to commit suicide yesterday. Strangely enough after he killed himself, I started feeling much better so I thought damn it, I’ll just soldier on. Friend 1. “I heard your husband passed away last week.†Friend 2. “Yes he went down to his garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner & dropped dead in the middle of the vegetable patch.†Friend 1. “That’s terrible, what did you do?†Friend 2. “Oh I just opened up a can of peas instead.†A woman goes to the Doctor in Glasgow, worried about her husband's violence towards her. The Doc asks: "Tell me about it†The woman says: "Weeell Doctor , I dinae know what to do. Every time ma hubbie comes home drunk, he threatens to slap me aroon'." The Doctor says: "Aye, well... I have a real good cure for that. When your husband arrives home drunk, just take a wee glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until he goes to bed and is sound asleep." Two weeks later she comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn. She says: "Doctor that was brilliant! Evrae time ma hubbie came home drunk, I swished with water. I swished an' swished, and he didnae touch me even once! Tell me Doc...wha's the secret? How's the water do that?" The Doctor says: "It's really nae big secret. The water does bugger all - it's keeping your mouth shut that’s what does the trick..." Cheers Ray

Canadian Stimulus Plan. Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the Prime Minister's Residence, in Ottawa. One is from Calgary , another is from Halifax , and the third is from a First Nations . All three go with a Sussex drive official to examine the fence. The Calgary contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900. That's $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me." The Halifax contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700. That's $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me." The First Nations contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the Sussex Drive official and whispers, "$2,700." The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure?" The First Nations contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Halifax to fix the fence." "Done!" replies the government official. And that, my friends, is how a Government Stimulus plan works. Cheers Ray

As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Policeman's funeral, a voice from inside screams: "I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!" The Vicar smiles, leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters: "Too bloody late pal, I've already done the paperwork" Cheers Ray