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A man, who is sensitive about his bald head and his wooden leg, is invited to a fancy dress party.

He doesn't know what to wear to hide his baldness and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem.

A few days later he receives a parcel with this note:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit.

The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a Pirate.

The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint..

A week passes and he receives another parcel with this note:

Dear Sir,

Sorry about the previous parcel.

Please find enclosed a monk's habit.

The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.

The man is really boiling with rage now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head.

So he writes a really strong letter of complaint..

A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with the accompanying letter:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup.

We suggest you pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head, let it harden, then stick your wooden leg up your ar$$e and go as a toffee apple.

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