this one's for booty

[jeff f]

Maaaaaaaaaate

\"Hello, is this the police?\"

\"Yes it is. How can we help you?\"

\"I'm calling to report my neighbour, Wazza. He's hiding Cocaine inside

his firewood!\"

\"Thank you very much for the call.\"

The next day, police officers descend on Wazza's house in great numbers.

They search the house and then go out to the shed where the firewood is kept.

Using axes, they bust open every piece of firewood but they find no cocaine.

They swear at Wazza and leave.

The phone rings at Wazza's house. \"Hey, Wazz, Did the cops come?\"

\"Yeah

\"Did they chop up your firewood\"

\"Yep\"

\"Happy Birthday, maaaaaaaaaate!

[STU]

good one jeff did not see that one coming lol

[bootyinblue]

LOL... very funny!

I have actually done search warrants where the occupants have asked us if we could carry around garbage bags and as we search, have a bit of a clean up for them at the same time.

But we know thats SOOOO not going to happen!

[Gazza]

I like this one

A bloke rings the cops late one night and explains he can see flashlights moving in his Garrage and the must be burgalars

The cops responce was sorry mate where flat out it will take 2-3 hours before we can get a car to you

So 10 minutes later he rings back and says don't worry about the car I solved the problem The cop ask's how ?

the bloke replies I just shot em both and killed em

With in minutes the cops arrive

bashing on his door and ask where are the bodies so he goes into the shed cops in tow and 2 men scurry to hide but are aprehended

The cop really pissed off yells YOU told us you shot them

his reply you told me 2-3 hours

Gaz

[roobs]

this one's as tasteless as a boiled grinner...

two police officers knock on a man's door and explain to him that his wife had been lost on a diving expedition. the man is unconsolable and breaks down in the officer's arms. \"but cheer up mate-it's not all bad\" the younger of the officers sympathised. \"when we found her body there were two big mud crabs and a lobster on it, and you can have the muddies!\". this caused a massive outpoor of grief from the man. not understanding the man's horrified expression, the other sargeant quickly said \"if there's another lobster when we go back to check her in an hour, then you can have that one!\"

[Oceandonkey]

thats gold roobs favourite joke ever!!!

[Oztrav]

yeah roobs thats a sweet joke