a few less than politic ones.

[Feral]

Well I cant tell em to the wife!

A bloke is scooting happily along in his speedboat with his girlfriend when he's pulled over by the water Police.

The police officer asks:

\"Have you been drinking Sir?\"

\"Why?\" asks the man, \"Was I driving badly?\"

\"No\" replies the Officer, \"You were driving splendidly.

It was the ugly fat bird sitting next to you that made me suspicious\"

An old man was sitting on a wharf. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue and yellow.

The old man just stared.

Every time the young man looked, the old man was staring at him.

The young man finally said, \"What's the matter Old Timer, never done anything wild in your life?\"

Without batting an eye, the old man replied, \"Got drunk once and f***** a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son.\"

FEMALE PRAYER

Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man, who's not a creep,

One who's handsome, smart and strong,

One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,

One who'll call, not wait for weeks

I pray he's gainfully employed,

When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,

Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man, who'll make love to my mind,

Knows what to answer to \"How big is my behind?\"

I pray that this man will love me no end,

And never attempt to hit on my friend.

And as I pray beside my bed,

I look at the clown you sent me instead.

Amen.

MALE PRAYER

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs

who owns a big boat. Amen.

[blue_mako]

i get it!:laugh:

i like the last one best

[kiwifisho]

Wats the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?

Santa stopped at three HO's.

[Scope]

I was standing in line at the supermarket behind a girl. She had at the register one tin of soup, one packet of 2 minute noodles, one easymicro meal, one tin of bake beans and one toothbrush. I said to her "you're single aren't you?" she said, "how did you know?"

I replied "Because you're f@#king ugly!!"

[Davo_Dinkum]

HA HA HA

i really like the first and last 1

[shortie]

good idea not telling the MRs Feral. Mine wouldnt understand em. rofl.

[Feral]

Gee this thread getting bumped is a blast from the past!

I'm a reformed character now, I would never tell such jokes these days

[Bushpig]

... I was walking in a cemetery this morning and seen a bloke hiding behind a

gravestone. I said "morning." He replied, "No, just having a shit." ...